Jaded Memories
by star-siren
Summary: Usagi released her from her pain, taking from her her memories. Now comes the question of why, and what happens next.


Yes, yes, I know: Why am I starting another story?!… BECAUSE IT WAS HAUNTING MY MUSES! ….^^; lol, enjoy!  Also, a HUGE thanks to Chibi Michi-chan for helping me decide what to cross this fic over with, as well as the character ^^;;…All characters will pretty much be portrayed based on research as I have not seen the series (X/1999) in a couple of years and my mind draws a dust bunny as I try to recall it. ^^;

Disclaimer: Don't own either shows T_T

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A cool breeze blew by, gently disturbing the leaves that rested upon the trees.  The stars illuminated the sky, singing a song of mystery and life, telling all the tale of creation and destruction, of hope and despair.  Happily, they sang and danced, paying no heed to the two girls that lied far below them.  But the gentle moon took notice of the two girls, took notice of the pained air that hung over them as a heavy shroud, and gently, she bathed them in the comfort of her light.  But it seemed not enough, for though she penetrated through the shroud to ease her own child's pain, the dark shroud had tightly wound itself around the second child, bringing her to her knees.

"Let me forget," She pleaded softly, her hands clasped together in front of her chest, "Please…just let me forget.  I don't want to remember—not this, not what just happened—not _anything_!  _Please_, I'm begging you, just let me forget." Her voice was soft, a broken feather that gently floated into the ears of the one who stood before her.

"I…" Sailor Moon paused, staring into the tearful eyes of the kneeling girl before her.  What was she to do?  The girl was in pain, so much pain.  Pain Sailor Moon wished she could make go away, she honestly did, but who was she to take from this girl her memories, her _life_?

Sailor Moon's own eyes grew tearful as she clasped the girl's hands in her own, her eyes begging her to understand.

"I'm sorry," she whispered to the girl, "I'm sorry, but I can't—I cannot do that to you.  I cannot take away your memories, your life!  I can't make you forget…it would be wrong!" Sailor Moon took the still kneeling girl into her arms, shedding her own tears as she heard the muffled sobs from the young girl before her.

"But it hurts so much," the girl whispered brokenly, "It hurts so much.  I don't think I can take it."

"It'll get better," Sailor Moon murmured, "Please, just have hope.  Everything will work out…"

"It hurts," the girl repeated, "So much…I can't take it…please!" Sailor Moon's eyes widened as the girl grabbed the fabric of her uniform, hanging onto it as if it were her lifeline.  "Please, Sailor Moon!  You must free me from this pain!  It'll only grow worse—how can I face everyone after this?  How can I continue to live knowing I'm…I'm…" the girl trailed off, her eye tightly shut as she turned her face away from the heroine before her.

"Please, Sailor Moon!  Make my pain go away!" The girl's eyes flew open as she looked up at the angelic face before her.  "Please, make me _me_ again!  Don't let me remember!" The girl pleaded.  "I'd die if anyone knows—_if I know_!" Sailor Moon's own sapphire eyes widened as she saw the truth that shone clearly in the girl's eyes.

"I…I…" What was she to _say?!_

"Let me forget," the girl whispered, "Don't let me remember…I couldn't bear it."

"But I'll be here for you," Sailor Moon whispered strongly, "I'll help you get over this!"

"Will you?" The girl suddenly let go of the uniform she still clutched in her hands, pushing Sailor Moon away from her and letting out a derisive laugh, startling the moonchild before her.  "Will you now?  And when will you do this, Sailor Moon?  When you reveal your identity?!  Or when you're fighting one of those, those..._demons_!  When will you help me, Sailor Moon?!" The girl snarled at Sailor Moon, pain overtaking her features as tears continued its trek down the smooth trail of her cheeks.  "Face it, Sailor Moon—you cannot help me, no one can!"

"But I can," Sailor Moon cried out, "Just let me help you, please!" Sailor Moon looked searchingly into the pained eyes that shone with such intensity, searching for a glimmer of hope.  "Please, have hope!"

"Help me, Sailor Moon." The girl sighed, one hand clenching into a fist above her heart, "Take my pain away…ease my mind, my heart…my soul…Sailor Moon!" The girl looked deep into Sailor Moon's eyes, engraving her very pain into Sailor Moon's heart, "You can help me, can't you?!  Don't let me remember, I beg you!  Kill me if you must, but don't let me live with this pain, this _shame_ any longer!"  She fell to her knees, sobbing uncontrollably.

Sailor Moon looked at the broken picture before her, feeling her heart crumbled.  This girl was hurting so much, and that made her own heart ache.  Slowly, she made her way to the girl, wrapping the girl in her arms.

"Shh…" She whispered soothingly as she rocked the girl back and forth, "I will help you."

She ignored the pain of her own soul as the girl looked up at her with eyes shining with hope.

"I will help you…just close your eyes…." Sailor Moon murmured, leaning down to kiss the forehead of the girl-child before her.  "You will be alright," Sailor Moon whispered gently, her sad eyes glimmering with tears.

"Onegai, Ginzuishou…Heed my plea…allow this girl escape from her pain…let her remember nothing," Sailor Moon shed a tear, "Ease her heart and soul, give her hope, Ginzuishou, and free her from her memories…let her live without this pain, Ginzuishou…let her live!"

The girl's eyes opened as she felt warmth encompass her, widening in awe as she saw ribbons surround Sailor Moon, transforming her into a creature that was truly of the moon, with gleaming hair of silken silver.

"Sailor Moon?" She whispered in awe, her eyes temporally fluttering shut as the warmth seeped into her heart, moving deeper until her very essence felt so very warm, so very calm.  She felt…at peace, with herself, with the events that had just transpired, with…everything.  Her tormented soul was finally being eased, finally being purified…she felt…warm, calm…renewed.

The girl before her shook her head.  "In this form, I am not Sailor Moon," She replied gently, "Relax, and let the crystal grant you your wish…" Her voice was a thick calm that melted into the night like rich maple, sweet and soothing, "I'm sorry…." 

"Why?" If her question was answered, she did not know it, unable to hear nothing save the sound of her own quiet breathing as a final wave of warmth surged throughout her body.  Letting out a contented sigh, she allowed the warmth to overtake her.  

As the warmth began to leave her, she began to feel a tingling in her mind, and she knew she would not remember soon.  But before she forgot, she had one last thing to do…

Feeling the two arms wrapped around her, she opened her eyes, smiling peacefully at the girl who was to be thanked for this peace that filled her very being.

"Thank you…" And her figure grew limp as darkness greeted her and the last of her memory fled.

The darkness and despair that had clung onto her so desperately had been broken, defeated by the loss of her memory.  The stars continued in its song and dance, though more reserved in its delight, as if sensing the air of regrets that blanketed the area.  And the moon lovingly caressed her child, attempting to sooth the pain her moonchild felt deep within her heart.  Time seemed to still, allowing nothing to mar the somberly beautiful scene that pain had painted.

A young girl, her face a serene gratitude, surrounded by the silvery hair of the beauty who held her in her arms, with eyes of vivid glittering sapphires as tears ran its course down her smooth face.  Nothing but the moonlight illuminated this picture, and in its gaiety, the stars seemed only to intensify the anguish that so clearly dominated the face of the silver-haired savior—for that was what she was, who she was, and what she would always be.

A savior to suffering souls, relieving them of their heartache even as her own grew.  But it was her job, her duty…it was who she was, and what she would always do. 

And so time stood still, as if to commemorate this moment that the savior took upon herself the greatest torment possible—the torment of a soul neither dead nor alive, wishing so badly to live, yet unable to.  And with time, the world paused, as if to acknowledge that their savior had just sacrificed her greatest gift of all—her light.

And the moon mourned for her broken daughter, the daughter who once shone so brightly to offer hope to the embittered now a dieing flame.

But the world must go on, the living must continue living, the forgotten continue searching, and pain must be left to numb with the passing of time.  And so time resumed its endless journey, transforming a princess into a warrior, want into need, and duty into necessity.

The painting was disturbed, the broken savior nowhere in sight, and the unconscious girl left alone upon the hard cement, alone yet guarded.

At sunrise, a frantic young man found her, his already apparent worry growing more so as he saw her unconscious form.  Murmuring a short thanks, followed by a curse, he picked her up and proceeded to leave the area, unaware of the knowing azure eyes that followed him from the shadows.

"I'm sorry…" Sailor Moon breathed, allowing the wind to carry her words to the two departing forms, one in the arms of the other.  As the man disappeared from her view, she turned around, beginning the lonely trek home with a heavy heart.


End file.
